


Ad astra per aspera

by Bluebird2479



Series: In Perpetuum et Unum Diem - fem malec au [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alecs magical bow, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Blue-Eyed Alec Lightwood, Character Study, F/F, Female Alec Lightwood, Female Magnus Bane, Good Older Sibling Alec Lightwood, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Wayland Feels, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, Multi, Pre-Canon, Protective Alec Lightwood, Rule 63, Sibling Love, Tessa and Alec friendship, The Author Regrets Nothing, fem Malec, lesbian charecter, tessa grey feels, why hasnt that been done before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebird2479/pseuds/Bluebird2479
Summary: AU where everything is the same but Alec and Magnus are girls.....Or the time I got frustrated with the lack of w/w ships that I actually like and so decided to genderbend a god tier gay ship.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: In Perpetuum et Unum Diem - fem malec au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805611
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	Ad astra per aspera

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer....I own nothing. 
> 
> Firstly I hope no one feels offened by the whole genderbending...like I mentioned above, I simply wanted to write some w/w fluff but didnt have any ship I actually resonate with.
> 
> Secondly, regarding the names, i changed Alec to Alexandra and Magnus to Megara. I chose Megara because of how it sounds and because Magnus means 'Great'. Megara has many meanings and one of them is also 'great'
> 
> Some of the descriptions and charecters might sound ooc. I described fem Alec to resembling Cecily Herondale because in the books, Alec is said to resemble Will Herondale. I havent actually read any of the other series except tmi so pardon any mistakes XD. I also sort of made Jace a little ooc (not in a bad way), but it will become clear later.
> 
> This fic is basically a character study. Pre-canon so no Malec just yet 
> 
> title "Ad astra per aspera" is a latin phrase meaning 'Through adversity to the stars.'
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing

Alexandra Gabrielle Lightwood was born to war

When Maryse first held her daughter in her arms, looking into those big blue eyes, for the first time in a while she felt her heart grow warm as the cruel vices around it melted.  
Maryse was known for her vicious heart and cunning mind. " _Mi bella espada_ ", Valentine used to call her. My beautiful sword. She would like to think that her loyalty to the clave and the law made her deflect at the end but honestly, she knew the real reason she and Robert left the circle was for their daughter.

Even then, the first time she really doubted Valentine's intentions was after Stephen Herondale's death. Poor Celine had been so distraught she slit her wrists, killing herself and her unborn son. A part of Maryse, the one that sounded a lot like Valentine, was disgusted with Celine for being so weak and selfish. Stephen had been the last of the Herondale's and Celine had effectively ended their line.   
The other part, the mother in her, had ached with Celine's pain. She remembered how Celine excitedly talked about her child growing up with Alex, convinced they would be great friends. It would be years before Maryse found out how true Celine's words were.   
Either way, it was after the Herondale's death that the first seeds of doubt had sowed themselves in Maryse' mind.   
Then Lucian Greymark was bitten and those doubts intensified.

She stayed, albeit reluctantly. She was no longer an enthusiastic participant in Valentine's plans, using Alex as an excuse to skip more and more meetings.

She didn't remember exactly when she started sneaking information to the Clave. Maybe it was when Jocelyn kept visiting their house with her son, watching with glazed eyes as he played with Alex. 

"He's almost normal around Alexandra. So calm. Maybe he just needed a friend." Jocelyn confessed to Maryse once, speaking like she was in a daze.   
"What do you mean?" Maryse had asked sharply   
"I can't stand him." Jocelyn said while crying. Maryse could hear the self hatred in Jocelyn's voice as she eyed her son with distaste and a little bit of fear "He's just so-so wrong. He was born wrong. Almost never sleeps, never cries. Just stares or screams in anger if I don't give him what he wants. But around Alex he's almost normal. Maybe he could be good, if he just had some friends. But I don't think he has any good in him. He's evil Maryse."  
Jocelyn looked at her with shock when she realized what she had said and then wordlessly left with Jonathon.

Maryse convinced Robert to leave completely after that. Days later they heard the news that Valentine and Jonathan had been killed and Jocelyn Fairchild ran away with the mortal cup.  
Maryse couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't over yet.  
But she had Alex in her arms, safe and sound. That was all that mattered in that moment.  
\---------------  
Alexandra Lightwood was born to suffer

Heavy is that head that wears the crown, Izzy had once said when asked why her sister was the way she was.  
Alex Lightwood was not what her parents had expected. She obeyed every order like a perfect soldier but it was clear to anyone who watched she didn't have her parents talent at hunting.  
Like Maryse, Alex was stubborn and temperamental and could reduce the strongest of hunters to tears with the force of her glare, but she had none of her mother's viciousness.  
Like Robert, she had a quite authority about her, she didn't always speak but when she did, people listened. But she wasn't manipulative like he was. 

Either way, there was nothing seemingly remarkable about the eldest Lightwood girl. At the age of six, Isabelle Lightwood was showing more promise as a shadowhunter than her elder sister.  
It didn't help that Alex appeared small and defenseless. She was tall enough for her age but always held herself in a way that made her smaller, less threatening.   
Robert had all but given up on Alex becoming a good hunter. He believed she could uphold the Lightwood name by becoming a desirable bride instead.   
Maryse fumed at the idea of her daughter being reduced to a trophy wife and instead pushed harder for her to become better.  
Being the eldest, the burden of restoring her parents name fell on her. Though it was their own mistakes that tarnished the Lightwood name in the first place, Alex was constantly told she wasn't good enough.

Robert mostly ignored Alex. His marriage to Maryse had been a political alliance and he was a reluctant participant in his wife's schemes to aid Valentine. Robert mostly stayed with his wife for Alex' sake.

So when they found themselves banished to New York, Robert blamed Maryse and almost left her right then, but he couldn't leave Alex. Over the years, Robert had come to resent Alex for being the reason he stayed in an unhappy marriage. When Isabelle was born, he showered her with love. But he couldn't bring himself to care about Alex the same way.

Alex grew up craving love and attention, but all she got was responsibilities and disappointment.  
Caught between her parents expectations of her, she worked hard to be the perfect daughter, always looking presentable and polite, making sure she never did anything that would cause fingers to be raised at her family.  
She trained and trained, pushing herself beyond her limits and then some more, so she could become the loyal soldier.  
And when she wasn't training, she was studying, reading about Clave politics and history and memorizing codex' thicker than her arm so she could be the leader her mother wanted her to be  
\------------  
Alex Lightwood was born to protect 

Daughter...soldier...leader.  
Alex strove hard to meet all these expectations. But the one thing that came naturally to her, the most inherent part of her nature that made Alex who she was; Alex was a big sister.  
She was a sister and with that, her most basic instinct had always been to protect, to care for and to love the people she considered _hers_.  
She vowed to make sure Isabelle, and later Jace and Max didn't have to suffer like she did.

She had spent enough night's crying herself to sleep after a nightmare to leave her door open in case her siblings needed her.  
She taught Izzy and Max the history of Nephilim and basic rune knowledge, but she was a lot gentler when they made mistakes.

Every time Jace did something that would warrant punishment and panicked that his new family would send him away, Alex comforted him and took the blame for him.

In her parents absence, Alex had pretty much raised Max until he had to be sent out to another institute for training.

Duty, honor, law...nothing was more important to Alex than her siblings.   
This became obvious after Alex' rune ceremony, when it was time for her to choose her weapon.

If there was one thing Idris loved more than killing demons and playing politics then it was gossip.   
The Lightwood's were an ancient shadowhunter family with many great warriors coming from their line. Needless to say people were curious to see what weapon was destined for Alexandra Lightwood. After all, the weapon would define the kind of shadowhunter she would grow to become. 

Thus began the speculations. Would she choose a broadsword like her father, probably not since she seemed too small to wield a weapon like that. Maybe dual axes like her mother. The fastest hunters chose seraph blades, they seemed well within her style. 

But Alex surprised everyone when she chose the bow and arrow instead.

It wasn't that archers were considered less effective. The practicality of a bow and arrow was not lost on anyone, archer's offered the best tactical advantage in wars. The bow was a good weapon, just not as honorable as a blade. Shadowhunter's mostly used it as a secondary option, not their primary weapon.

There was simply no glory in killing demons from afar. 

So while everyone knew that logically the bow was a good weapon, logic was rarely ever a part of an argument regarding honor.  
No one said it aloud, but everyone thought it. Only cowards would choose the bow as their primary weapon when compared to blades. 

Robert regarded Alex' choice with scathing indifference while Maryse was in furious denial.   
Alex never disobeyed her parents but on the rare occasion she did, she went all out. She could out stubborn even Maryse when she wanted to.

So her parents grudgingly accepted her choice but didn't make it easy for her. Robert had taken to breaking her fingers each time she missed a target before iratze-ing them and making her try again. After a while Alex started inflicting these punishments on herself every time she failed to perfect her technique. 

Hodge had been genuinely curious about Alex's weapon. He watched her struggle to balance the heavy bow and wondered why she stubbornly clung to it, despite the punishments and scoffs and debilitating comments. It was clear to him she wasn't a natural at the bow, could probably fight better with a blade.   
So Hodge asked her and Alex had stared at him for a long moment as if trying to determine whether he was judging her or if he was genuinely curious. Finally, she answered

"Izzy keeps talking about coming with me on patrols when we're both old enough. She's going to be an amazing hunter, I can see that. She'll kill a lot of demons. Someone's gotta have her back while she's busy hunting. With a bow I can take a position where I can always keep an eye on her. Besides, " Alex said shrugging "Isn't that what we do? We're Nephilim, we live to protect, not kill." With that, she went back to practicing her aim, not noticing the impact of what she'd said.  
Alex's words were simple, but they had taken Hodge by surprise. How did a ten year old realize the truth when the rest of the shadow world seemingly forgot?

Because that's what the angels created shadowhunters for, their angelic duty was to _protect_ , not kill. When did such a sacred role turn into a competition for glory and power?

Would Hodge and the others make the mistakes they made in their youth if they had remembered this simple truth? Would Valentine have been successful in gathering so many followers if Nephilim had been more humble about their roles as divine servants and less egoistic about their blood? 

And Hodge was a bitter man. Bitter and wasted and so, so guilty about what he did in the past and ashamed of what he was still doing. But in that moment, he was proud. Hodge Starkweather was proud that he knew and taught Alexandra Lightwood.

Watching Alex stumble with the bow, Hodge didn't see the shy, insecure little girl she was, but the incredible young woman she would grow to be. People overlooked Alex Lightwood but Hodge knew that one day, this little girl would change the world and it would be better because of it. 

True to her word, Alex took her role as a protector seriously.   
Once Jace had joined their family and Izzy had grown old enough, the three of them had become a force to be reckoned with. Jace and Izzy had earned their reputation as the best shadowhunters at the institute, killing more demons than any other patrol group. They were showered with praise and compliments while Alex was ignored. Alex, who took all the blows meant for her siblings and had their backs when they were too busy to worry about their own safety. 

Gold represented perfection in all aspects. Jace glowed like gold in everyone's eyes

Iron represents strength, courage and fortitude. Isabelle was one of the strongest and most resilient shadowhunters the institute had ever seen

Silver represents protection, the metal of the moon. Less precious than gold, less useful than iron. But most people forget that silver was the rarer metal, And a person like Alex Lightwood was rarer yet.  
\-------------  
Jace Wayland was born to kill

He was raised to believe that mercy was weakness and love was destruction. He never knew what love was till he met his new family

Until Robert Lightwood who finally had the son he always wanted and didn't stop doting on Jace even after Max was born.

Until Maryse Lightwood who sang french lullabies and gave him his nickname and whose eyes shone with pride every time he excelled in the field.

Until Isabelle Lightwood who was seven years old when he first met her and had instantly loved him in the innocent way only children can. Izzy, who grew to share his interest in hunting and was one of the few people who could plant him on his ass in combat.

Until Max Lightwood, who taught him what unconditional love really meant. Jace remembered the all consuming love he felt for the baby that was placed in his arms and how quickly he fell in love had both terrified and exhilarated him.  
His new family loved him, despite his flaws, despite the difficulties he posed, despite all the rule breaking, they loved him.

Alex Lightwood saw all of his flaws. She looked past his cocky arrogance and his narcissistic tendencies, past the anger and bloodlust, past the hurt and betrayel, she saw the deepest, darkest parts of him and unlike everyone else, she loved him _for_ it.

She didn't love the good and tolerate the bad like everyone else.   
Alex Lightwood was the first person to accept him just as he was, and loved him for simply being him.

They were polar opposites, the both of them. But maybe that's why they worked so well. Where Jace's anger was fire, all consuming and fierce, Alex's fury was a wall of ice, harsh and unrelenting.   
They pushed and pulled at each other, purposefully driving the other crazy and fought and made up without any apology.   
They balanced each other perfectly. Alex's unwavering resolve keeping Jace's recklessness in line while Jace's volatile energy forced Alex to loosen up sometimes.

And then he had fallen in love with her.

It wasn't entirely his fault. Before the Lightwood's, Jace didn't really understand love and so he didn't know how to differentiate romantic love from platonic.  
The people around them didn't help either. Since the day they met, Jace and Alex had been attached at the hip. They played together, trained together, ate together. Jace couldn't stand to be without Alex for even a little while after the first few months and Alex seemed to hero worship Jace.  
As they grew older everyone, including Alex's parents, were convinced the two would end up married.

The idea didn't seem right to Jace, but it didn't sound wrong either. And if marriage meant he'd be closer to Alex then it was an appealing thought. 

Every time someone suggested they looked cute together, Jace would smirk proudly while Alex kept a carefully blank expression.   
Jace noticed Alex's apprehension of course. He knew she didn't share those feelings and Jace, who never worried what girls thought of him, was insecure that Alex thought him unworthy of her. 

He did notice her sometimes staring at a pretty girl a little too long, absentmindedly agreeing with him when he complimented a Seelie bartender. He knew what all that meant but he never asked and she never told and it became one of those untold secrets between them.

So when Jace saw Alex's growing fear at the prospect of an alliance between them, he suggested they become Parabatai instead.   
The smile she had given him that day could power a small country. It was worth the stabbing ache in his heart. Parabatai couldn't be in a romantic relationship.

As much as it hurt, Jace would never regret his decision to become Alex's Parabatai. He wanted to be closer to his best friend and here they were. Constantly feeling Alex's presence even when she wasn't physically there was comforting and strangely grounding.

Years later, he would hold the girl he was meant to love in his arms and he'd realize that while he loved Alex with a raw intensity that scared him, he was never _in_ love with her.  
\----------  
Isabelle Lightwood was born to fight

She was the youngest daughter and therefore didn't have to meet the same expectations as Alex did.   
Her father doted on her, she was his beautiful princess, something Alex could never be.   
But Izzy was much too similar to her mother and that resulted in them constantly fighting with each other. Obedience didn't come easy to her, unlike Alex, and that was a thorn in her relationship with her mother. 

Alex was the person Izzy loved most in the world but it didn't stop her from feeling a little resentful of her sister. Alex, who worked the hardest and never complained, who always accepted the consequences of her actions with an air of grace and dignity that put adults to shame. Alex, who seemingly blends into the shadows but can command a room simply by being her honest self.   
If her sister could see herself the way Izzy saw her, maybe she wouldn't think so less of herself. 

Either way, Izzy was determined not to blend in. She wanted to prove herself and she worked hard for it.   
She had inherited her parents best traits with none of their flaws. When it was time to choose her weapon, she chose the whip. Deceptively difficult to wield and twice as deadly, no one thought she could actually do it but she perfected the art of fighting with a whip.

Isabelle was a fighter and she fought hard for what she believed in. What started as a cry for attention had evolved into an agenda to end the bigotry and prejudice she grew up with. So she continued her dalliances with downworlders despite her mother's growing ire.  
Isabelle was beautiful and she knew it. But she hated it when her beauty was all people gave her credit for. She was one of the best shadowhunter's at the institute, a gifted pathologist and weapons maker, she was a literal genius!

Isabelle hated being recognized only for her beauty but she never tried to downplay it either. Sure, she genuinely liked dressing up and embracing her feminine side but mostly she did it so the attention was on her and not on Alex.  
She wore dresses with plunging necklines and flirted with men and constantly had her parents attention so they never saw Alex stiffening at the mention of marriage or staring too long at a pretty girl.   
Izzy knew her sister better than she knew herself. Jace might her parabatai but Izzy and Alex were _sisters_ and there were some bonds that just can't compare and theirs was like that. Izzy didn't need a rune to know what her sister was feeling. What she was hiding.

Isabelle Lightwood fought for a world where her sister could find the happiness she deserved and not be judged for it.   
\-----------  
Alex was born to rebel 

She was the perfect daughter and the loyal soldier. She followed orders without questions and did whatever her family demanded of her.   
She obeyed and followed and sacrificed everything until she had nothing left and it still wasn't enough. 

So she rebelled instead. But the moments that led to her leaving the altar at her wedding were far more subtle. 

Jace broke the rules because he could. 

Izzy broke the rules so that her voice could be heard. 

Alex didn't break the rules, she _changed_ them. And someone who can change the entire system is far more dangerous than someone who simply disagrees with it.

Izzy and Jace argued all the time about mundanes; Izzy found them fascinating while Jace thought they were boring. Alex would scoff and take Jace's side but secretly, she was interested in the mundane world too.  
The Clave didn't like dwelling on mundane cultures and most shadowhunters grow up with the bare minimum knowledge of mundane lives.   
They were taught to see history the way the Clave wanted them to see it.  
"The Nazi's were aided by bloodthirsty downworlders which resulted in the death of thousands of mundane and many shadowhunters." Their tutors would say. 

Nazi agenda was built on the idea of purity of race and funnily enough, that sounded a lot like the Circle to Alex.

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword is a fool." Izzy once proclaimed and Alex simply huffed, not contradicting her  
But Alex knew the power of words. History had answers and books gave ideas. And ideas were far more dangerous than any weapon.   
Alex hoarded these weapons under her bed in the form of mundane literature and history. She spent all her free time reading. 

Like the Byron poem went  
' _But words are things, and a small drop of ink,_ _Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces_  
 _That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think'_

Words lead to thoughts and thoughts lead to doubt. Doubt leads to action and actions lead to change.  
Alex knows that words have power. She has only ever had the courage to speak them in the safety of her room, but one day she would scream them to the world.

She always wrote two papers for the essays her tutors would give. The right answer and the wrong answer. In other words, what they wanted to hear and what she wanted to say.   
'State the importance of maintaining the accords.' The question would go  
What she wanted to write - ' _The accords are an outdated agenda that stifle the freedom and right to self governance of the downworlders and place Nephilim in the position of the superior race in the shadow realms_.'   
What she submitted instead- ' _Downworlders have an unfair advantage in terms of power and strength as compared to Nephilim and the accords serve to keep that power in check to maintain equilibrium between Nephilim and Downworlders_.'  
She kept the 'wrong' answers. Logically, she knew she should get rid of them. If anyone read those papers she could be charged for sedition. Instead, Alex signed those papers with her name and hid them inside the books in her large bookshelf. There was a small liberty in that act of defiance and a strange thrill in the fear of being caught.   
She remembered a quote from a mundane book she once read  
" _Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them_." *  
As she grew older, all her thoughts seemed contradictory.

She didn't exactly hide her interest in mundane fiction. Most people, including her parents, wrote it of as mindless entertainment. A waste of time but ultimately harmless.

If only they knew the plots of some of the books she read. _1984, Farenheit 451, The Handmaid's Tale, Hunger Games_...  
She couldn't deny that she could find some part of the Clave in the tyrannical government of all these books.

The first time she read ' _The Price of Salt'_ , Alex almost had a panic attack. She hid that particular book in a deep corner of her closet, the irony of which was not lost on her.   
But it led her to think and once she accepted the possibility, there was no going back. She liked women.

Alex didn't always follow orders.  
Tessa Grey met Alex when she was 17 and what an interesting meeting it was.   
Megara had been called away to a warlock council when Raphael needed her help. She called Tessa instead and asked her to help the vampire that was something of a son to her.  
A few rogue vampires had been shacking up in one of Camille's old dens and had captured a couple of fledglings from Raphael's clan. If the Clave found out then the two innocent fledglings would be caught along with the rogues and with them, Raphael's entire clan could be prosecuted. 

Tessa was supposed to portal in, grab the fledglings and portal out, leaving rogues to be handled by the Clave.  
Except, a shadowhunter was already there by the time she arrived. 

The rogue vampires had kidnapped and killed a mundane that led a shadowhunter on patrol to track them down. Tessa had arrived to find a teenager leaning against a basement door. The two fledglings were tied up behind her.

"Who-who are you?" The girl asked "Are you hear to help them?"   
She must've been bitten because the girls words were slurry and she looked close to passing out.   
"These two are innocent" Tessa started cautiously, but the girl waved her off  
"I know. They were tied up, kinda put two and two together. Those rogue vamps were using them as leverage to get the local clans protection. Idiots kept gloating about their clever plan."   
Tessa was unsure what to say, so she released the tied up fledglings instead.  
"You should get them outta here. Clave officials will be here any moment to collect the bodies. My Parabatai and sister went after the others, I'm the only one who knows these two are here. Don't worry, I'll make something up. No one will go after them."

Before Tessa could say anything, the board keeping sunlight out from the basement window fell off and the fledglings screamed when sunlight hit the spot they had been tied up in mere seconds ago. Tessa quickly made a portal to Hotel Dumort and ushered the fledglings inside, trusting Raphael to take care of them. She turned around to thank the shadowhunter and gasped in surprise.

The sunlight allowed her to see the girls face and Tessa was sure she was seeing a ghost. Dark hair and familiar blue eyes. Eyes she was sure she'd never see again. 

"Cecily?" She gasped  
The girl swayed on her feet as the vampire venom took its toll on her  
"Alex...m' name's Alex Lightwood." She said and Tessa caught her just before she could hit the floor.  
Lightwood....of course

She knew Gabriel and Cecily's descendants lived in New York but she hadn't given it much thought. Alex looked so much like Cecily. She was taller and her jaw was different but otherwise, she resembled Tessa's friend.  
How many years had it been since she'd seen those blue eyes? She had forgotten how beautiful they looked.   
Tessa could almost hear Will gloating to Gabriel about his descendants looking like a Herondale. A bittersweet smile graced her lips at the thought.  
Tessa healed the girl of the bite and waited for her wake up 

"Wha' happened? You're still here?" Alex asked in surprise 

"I couldn't just leave you like that after you helped those poor vampires."

"I was just doing my job." Alex said with a shrug

Tessa raised an eyebrow "A shadowhunter hunter risking the law to protect Downworlders?" Tessa had all but lost faith in Nephilim since the uprising.   
Alex blushed "They were innocent. I'll have to report two missing fledglings since the Clave had Intel about seven vamps here. But I can tell them they got away before I could ID them. Don't worry, I wont sell you out." 

"You'll be punished for losing them." 

"As I should be. The law is hard but it is the law." Alex said 

"You think you deserve to be punished? Even though you were trying to help?" Tessa asked 

The lingering effects of the vampire venom made Alex answer without inhibitions  
"I did what I did because I believed it was the right thing and I don't regret it. Hell, I'd do it again. But I still broke the law and I can't expect the Clave to give me a free pass for it. Valentine believed he was doing the right thing too when he went against the Clave. One person should never believe they know better than the law, one man can never be above it. Vigilantism sounds cool in mundane comics but it's dangerous in real life." Alex said 

Tessa was stunned by the maturity and wisdom this girl was showing.   
"You're a remarkable young lady Alex Lightwood." 

Alex leaned back against the wall, still tired from the venom   
"You called me Cecily. She was my ancestor, Cecily Lightwood. Did you know her?" Alex asked

"I was married to Cecily's brother, Will Herondale. You look a lot like Cecily you know."   
"Married to....wait! You're Theresa Grey aren't you?" Alex asked with barely contained excitement "I've read a lot about you."  
Tessa smiled at the girls enthusiasm. Her smile reminded her of Cecily's daughter, Anna.   
"All good things I hope." Tessa said with a grin  
Alex grinned back, then clutched her hip with a frown  
"My parabatai will be here any moment now. You should probably leave." Alex said  
"Before I go, is there anything I can do for you?"

Alex looked ready to refuse, but then hesitated   
"Actually there is something. My bow broke while I was fighting those vamps. Can you maybe fix it?" She asked tentatively, pointing towards the broke halves of a bow lying in a little distance.  
Tessa took the bow and frowned   
"Why aren't you using one made of Adamas? Then it wouldn't break so easily."   
"Adamas is rare and better used for blades." Alex said with a shrug  
Tessa narrowed her eyes at the dismissive way Alex said that, like she didn't think she was worth the effort of making a good weapon.   
"I can do more than just fix it." Tessa said. She mended the broken halves and then put an enchantment on it, an improvement on the glamour runes already etched onto the metal.   
Before their eyes, the bow shrunk to a small black band. Alex's eyes widened in surprise   
"Wha-?"  
"Relax, I merely enchanted it. Whenever you need it, the band will transform into your bow and a quiver full of enchanted arrows. This bow can't be broken and wherever you are, your quiver will never run out. It'll probably take a little practice to get it right, but I think you will like it." Tessa explained   
Alex took the band and turned it in her hands. A second later, she was holding a bow and a quiver.   
"Th-thank you. Wow! This is a lot. I- I'm not sure how to pay you for this." Alex said sheepishly   
"Pay? Of course not dear, this is a gift for helping those vampires. Besides, you're family." Tessa said, cupping Alex's cheek  
Alex smiled at her  
"Alex, c'mon. Where are you?" Izzy's voice called from upstairs  
"I gotta go. Thank you for the bow, really." Alex said   
"I hope to see you again Alex." Tessa said. With a last smile, Alex left the room

Later Alex would tell her family that Tessa Grey gave her the bow as a thank you for helping her with a potion.  
"She was friends with our great great grandmother, Cecily Lightwood. I remind her of her apparently, maybe that's why she was so generous with her gift." Alex explained with a shrug when Maryse pressed her.  
A shadowhunter using a weapon enchanted by a warlock. It was blasphemous! But Alex didn't care. She treated her weapon with newfound reverence and dared anyone to tell her otherwise.   
\-------‐---------  
Alexandra was born to love

She hated change, it unsettled her. When Jace had been brought home for the first time, Alex wished he'd go back to Idris. Until she learned to love him.  
Once she established a routine she didn't like breaking it. 

So when Clary Fray entered their lives, pulling the floor from under their feet and turning everything upside down, needless to say she was rather annoyed with the girl.   
Alex hated Clary because she was suspicious of her. She hated how easily this new girl could read her.  
Alex hated Clary, until she didn't. Until she learned to love her, love the change she brought in their lives. How she made her question everything she grew up believing. Clary said out loud what Alex only dared to think.  
But mostly, Alex was grateful for the day that lead her to walk into the pandemonium. The day she met the person who would change her life. 

Alexandra was born to love and her love would change the world

" _Megara...I don't think we've been formally introduced"_

_"Alex"_

**Author's Note:**

> *quote from George Orwells "1984"
> 
> Alec's bow was inapired by this tumblr post  
> https://ralfstrashcan.tumblr.com/reblog/178788385314/4zXaeODc


End file.
